When watching your favorite adult movie, please keep the volume down.
This week, a Wisconsin man barged into his neighbor's apartment wielding a cavalry sword after he thought he heard a woman being raped.
It turns out that the neighbor was actually watching porn and neglected to keep the volume at a (ahem) "discreet" level. The Wisconsin man made his neighbor take him around the apartment to prove no one else was there.
Hmmm... you're sitting there with your thingy hanging out and an obviously upset and possibly deranged man kicks down your front door wielding a long sword. I'm thinkin' there was probably some immediate shrinkage.