Federalize the Fourth

Yet another year goes by while more Americans kill themselves through their own stupidity.

See this LINK to understand how stupid Americans can be.

Yes, every year Americans blow up themselves with fireworks. But, we can fix that.

I've written and asked our President to begin federal oversight of all fireworks displays every 4th of July (particularly in the Southern states where idiotic rednecks make their own versions of fireworks).
Afterall, there is no reason for Americans to die while celebrating an anachronistic "HOLIDAY" like "independence day". I mean, really, this "holiday" celebrates war and engenders hard feelings from others around the world.

Why do we flaunt our war-making prowess? Are we just a big glorified North Korea, marching in goosestep every July? Are we so insecure that we have to parade and primp in front the cameras for the whole world to see? Pathetic! Take this ridiculousness away, Barack.

Federalize the Fourth of July. Allow only government agencies to shoot off these stupid explosives. Really, only the government should be able to play with these dangerous toys.

This is another area where the Greatest President in the history of this tea-bagging, redneck, racist country can give us a lesson on how to be cool.