Where's My Ride?

The Governor of the Great State of Massachusetts is giving away free cars to the poor. Unfortunately, I don't live in such a progressive mecca as Massachusetts -- I'm stuck in redneck, Rethuglican Arizona!

I called Jan Brewer's office, (she took over after Governor Janet Napolitano was called on to her glory -- serving in Washington, D.C.), and the woman who answered the phone just laughed at me when I asked for a car.

I was like "Hello, I'd like to get my free car from the Obama stimulus plan."
And she said, "Excuse me? What free car?"
And so I was like, "The ones like they're giving away in Massachusetts."
And then she was like, "Sir, umm, you are a sir aren't you?"
And I said, "Yes, I'm a sir! Are you stupid or what?"
And she said, "I don't think so, but your voice is a bit high for a man..."
So I was like, "Look girlfriend, I don't need you to talk to me like my father used to..." and then she interrupted me.
"Sir, regardless, we don't have free cars in Arizona."
And then she called the cops on me for harassing language. She "claims" that I called her a stupid redneck heifer who didn't have the common sense that Gaia gave a screwdriver.
(Those Rethuglicans can't take the truth.)

Anywho, I really didn't appreciate it, and didn't see anything funny about calling the cops.
If Massachusetts can give free cars to their poor, I need one too. I mean, really, if I had money to buy my own do you think I'd be living in this assclown state? Hell, no. I'd have moved a long time ago!

Federalize the Fourth

Yet another year goes by while more Americans kill themselves through their own stupidity.

See this LINK to understand how stupid Americans can be.

Yes, every year Americans blow up themselves with fireworks. But, we can fix that.

I've written and asked our President to begin federal oversight of all fireworks displays every 4th of July (particularly in the Southern states where idiotic rednecks make their own versions of fireworks).
Afterall, there is no reason for Americans to die while celebrating an anachronistic "HOLIDAY" like "independence day". I mean, really, this "holiday" celebrates war and engenders hard feelings from others around the world.

Why do we flaunt our war-making prowess? Are we just a big glorified North Korea, marching in goosestep every July? Are we so insecure that we have to parade and primp in front the cameras for the whole world to see? Pathetic! Take this ridiculousness away, Barack.

Federalize the Fourth of July. Allow only government agencies to shoot off these stupid explosives. Really, only the government should be able to play with these dangerous toys.

This is another area where the Greatest President in the history of this tea-bagging, redneck, racist country can give us a lesson on how to be cool.

Save Us, Great One

Save us from the vast right wing media conspiracy that keeps "down-talking" the economy.

Today, those same old idiots in the conservative media, (Bloomberg, the Wall Street Journal, ABC, NBC, CBS, and Faux News), all lied to the American People by saying we lost jobs again. LINK

But the American People will surely see through this farce. Clearly the Obama Stimulus is actually creating jobs -- we all know it is -- so why do those scumbags in the media keep saying we are losing them?

Here are links to the "leaders" of these traitors. Write them and tell them you've had enough --

ABC NEWS
CBS NEWS
NBC NEWS
BLOOMBERG
WALL STREET JOURNAL
FOX NEWS

TELL US THE TRUTH ABOUT THE ECONOMY!!!!