Remember that kid in grade school who never took a bath (let's call him "Jimmy")?
His mom bitched because no one ever invited Jimmy to birthday parties. She telephoned the school, (because she was too lazy to drive there), telling the principal that her child should not have to take a bath like the other children, and this discrimination amounted to HYGIENE PRIVILEGE.
Later in high school, Jimmy was the "burn-out" who smoked too much weed. Jimmy flunked his junior year. Mom called again.
Why should her child have to study to get a good grade? It violates his basic human rights to progress in society. She declared she would fight this insidious HOMEWORK PRIVILEGE. In fact, she was calling Channel 3 News right away to expose this unwarranted injustice. After convincing the school to graduate him, Mom settled back into her recliner, grabbed the controller and family-size Doritos, ignored Jimmy, and was quite self-satisfied with how great a mom she was.
Still lacking personal hygiene and having learned nothing in school, Jimmy was not very employable. Since no one would hire him, he opted to rob his neighbors at gunpoint. Why? Because they had more money than he did, and he really wanted that money. Makes sense, right?
After 6 years in prison, a little D.A.R. from Bubba, and learning at the knee of the best criminals in the county, Jimmy was released. Jimmy applied at the local bank to become a bank teller.
During the interview, when asked why he wanted to work at the bank, Jimmy replied, " 'Cause, that's where all the money is", while wiping snot on his sleeve. His prison record, continuing lack of personal hygiene, and his obvious inability to understand how to succeed during an interview resulted in rejection of his application.
Mom, (now bed-ridden), screamed for the neighbors to gather around and help her lament the plight of her angel child - unable to make a living for no fault of his own. She wailed and cried until the local politicians heard about this injustice. When the local representative (let's call him Joe), arrived, he found that Jimmy was white! Oh no, how could this have happened to a white man? Jimmy really had no excuse for failing because of all his WHITE PRIVILEGE. Joe asked Mom to have Jimmy come to his office the next day at 3:00 PM. The valiant politician would fix this.
Jimmy showed up 45 minutes late to the meeting, reeking of weed and B.O.. Wrinkled, stained, and tattered clothing hanging off of him, Jimmy asked, " Sooo, whut da fuck you gonna do for me?"
Visibly moved, Joe's eyes teared up. Not because of Jimmy's plight, but because of the stench and the realization that this "angel child" had failed to prepare himself to function in society at the most basic level.
His eyes also watered when he realized that not helping the "angel child" would damage his political future in the community. "Look Jimmy", Joe began, "we need a good angle to present your case to the media."
"We can't allow people like you to fall through the cracks. Here's what I'm gonna do...I'm going to start a war against the standards of professional appearance, education, and personal integrity that have held you down! America is broken because of all this PROFESSIONALISM PRIVILEGE, and we're gonna fix it!!!
"We'll expose PROFESSIONALISM PRIVILEGE as the vile, corrupt under belly of Capitalism. From now on, PROFESSIONALISM PRIVILEGE will not be afforded ONLY to those who follow the rules, study in school, and put forth the effort to succeed. Everyone should share in this PRIVILEGE.
"You will earn PROFESSIONALISM PRIVILEGE just for being you, no matter how unfit you've made yourself for the professional world. You and I are going to change that world, Jimmy!
"What do you think of that?!?!", barked the feckless politician.
Joe replied, "As soon as you take your feet off my desk. They're leaving a stain."
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PIC O' THE DAY
Look at the ass clowns for whom the inability to succeed MUST be the fault of racism rather than dressing like 12-year-olds.
